VILAY - विलय 🪢
A really tough hindi word, which you might not have used in daily conversation or may never use even if you're a "Hindi bhashi" Indian. Trust me I'm not a pro either, just read it somewhere and It kind of resonated with what was going on in my mind that time.
Vilay, my friend means amalgamation or dissolution depending on its usage. Former, when referring to two entities coming together and latter, when referring to something dissolving, disappearing, or merging into something else.
One fine day, when I went to grab something to eat, I came across a half used pack of millet pancake premix in my punjabi kitchen. I squinted a bit and instantly went back in my mind, a few weeks back when one of my cousins, the brother I grew up with visited us. I remembered The guy who was the laziest growing up woke up super early and was asking for directions to the local shop to buy double toned milk for his 2 year old. He finally found it, came home and made millet pancakes before his little angel woke up. I was beautifully surprised and so touched to see how we transform into an altogether different human being as soon as we make one.
As a 30 year old, some of us have already experienced parenthood and some of us want to, as a part of our settling in the society plan. With all due respect to all the internet debates going on parenthood, economics of raising a child and the infamous DINK culture (Double Income-No kids), when I look around at friends, family and in general people around me, I wonder what makes people completely devote themselves to another person and what keeps on driving them to do that so consistently everyday?
I'm not the part of the club, I'm aware, but I've definitely been and still am on the other side of the bridge and trust me it's the most beautiful side in the world as of now. I've been brought up by a beautiful and generous woman who if I don't mention in my writing about parenthood would be so unfair to my 30revolution gig. My mother, Ladies and gentlemen is the most soft spoken and kind hearted person in whole dang world.(unlike me at times). Although that is my favourite thing to do, I'm not gonna rant here about how she is the best mother (which I think everybody in the world thinks about theirs). I just wanna share that whenever I think someone cannot be more selfless than this, how she proves me wrong every other day.
Be it giving me a li'l piece of her favourite chocolate or making sure the toothpaste I use is squeezed to the perfect position so that I don't get late to my office figuring it out.
Be it rolling my travel roti rolls in such a way that i don't have trouble tearing the wrap or decorating my room all alone for my birthday.
The list is long. Whenever she does something like this to astonish me even more, I often go into thinking more and more....
What makes them do all this, so selflessly ?
The other day one of my friend told me how he looked upon the journey of his father so proudly and he would feel super accomplished in life if he could even be 1% of what his father has been to all the people around him!
Another 30 year old, super independent friend tells me that she wonders if she would ever be able to give her children the level of freedom and independence she was provided by her parents.
I have a cousin who is still not able to contemplate if there ever would be a person in this life again who could love her the way her father did. She is unable to find even one person who could even come close to how great her "daddy cool" was.
I know a super introvert friend, not so expressive one who posted a full hand written letter on social media to tell the world how special her "Appa" is to her!
I know a group of siblings grieving the loss of their mother everyday so silently yet so loud.
"However great we must think our parents are, the truth is nobody is perfect."
They were also once this naive, clueless person that we 30 year olds are, but one fine day they decided to have us in their lives. Planned or unplanned they decided to have us, another weeping, pooping yet smiling piece of flesh and as soon as we came into their lives, "VILAY" happened.
Amalgamation or Dissolution whatever you call it, my super cute mum who used to have long pretty nails stopped having them as soon as she had me because some random nurse legit scolded her (lack of boundaries, I tell you.)
My baby brother started making millet pancakes.
My introvert friend started writing paragraphs about how much she loves her son.
My Ph.D from Prague friend started to help her little daughter in her school DIY(Do it yourself).
My shopaholic sister continued to be one but this time for baby clothes and accessories.
I've a colleague having hour long discussion about his baby's fever last night.
All these people might have been carefree, wild party animals and must have done some idiotic shit in life, but now they are somebody's "Mumma-Papa"
They have been through this beautiful transition and dissolved into becoming this selfless new person who means the whole world to somebody else.
No matter if you are somebody's special person or you've your special person right beside you right now or you have the best of both worlds, The next time you proud-
parents see your li'l human being, Thank them for choosing you! (or do whatever suits you, you definitely know better than me....)
& the next time you meet your parents, give them a tight hug and remind them how beautifully you acknowledge their love and devotion towards you. How you always remember in your heart that they made or at least tried to make you everything they were and everything good even they couldn't be.
How they beautifully became a part of the "Vilay- विलय ❤️"
P.S. This is the picture of the leftover millet pancake premix which reminded me of how my baby brother became somebody's papa.
If you don't like reading, I'm narrating:
